Pet Peeve

I am annoyed by many of the linguistic foibles afflicting the bible belt of the American Midwest. Every time someone confuses borrow with lend I cringe a little bit inside. People who consistently confuse good with style well have the same effect. I know I am obnoxious when I continually harp on the grammatical difference between these words but a man has to have principles. Borrow and lend are not synonymous, good and well are not interchangeable. However, my biggest pet peeve concerning language is not related to grammar. It is the use of business terms out of context. Using phrases like synergy and other industry buzz words during everyday conversations is incredibly annoying.

What defines a bigwig in a corporate board meeting ostracizes him at a Phish concert. “Crunchy grooves” do not mesh with “advertainment”. My abhorrance for business speak breaking down the cubicle walls to the real world indicates my irrational dislike for phrases out of context. For example, I don’t like suburban, upper middle class kids quoting N.W.A records in their National Honors Society meetings nor corn-fed, Wisconsin bred middle schoolers talking about "shredding the gnar" like brahs and betties.

My aversion to transitional linguistics seems counter intuitive. I usually love all things liminal, or boundary straddling. Asian fusion cuisine, the emergence of extreme sports into mainstream culture, Huxley’s Brave New World and freshmen coeds.

I think my aversion to out of place colloquialisms might actually have everything to do with my love of transitionary artifacts. I love the aforementioned examples because they bridge two worlds, harmoniously finding a new niche. Snowboarding has been able to keep its soul while being pushed to new extremes in the glow of mass consumerism and Indonesian ingredients have benefited from high-end restaurateurs. Conversely, nobody benefits from hearing about “bo-go selling strategies” or “targeting Generica demographics” in the context of a rock concert.

Combining two opposing subjects creates conflict. Conflict is the foundation for any good narrative. Superman needs Lex Luther and Kryptonite; Dr. Jekyll needs Mr. Hyde; and The Giving Tree needed that greedy little kid. But, having business speak in about-the-town vernaculars takes it too far. Lastly, If I never hear the word synergy used outside of a boardroom it will be too soon.